Dear Marceline
by concernedApathetic
Summary: Simon always kept journals. It helped him feel a little more sane. After meeting Marceline everything he wrote was to her. He needed to make sure she knew he would be there for her even when he wouldn't be there physically.
1. Chapter 1

_ Dear Marceline,_

_Today you ran over to me. You were crying. It always hurts me when I see you crying, you are usually so strong._

_"Hambo's hurt." You told me, handing me the doll. Then you handed me one of his eyes. "I didn't mean to break him... I don't know what to do. Can you fix him- can you make him better?"_

_"Of course we can fix him. We just need to find the right tools for the surgery." I told you, putting a hand on your shoulder._

_"Surgery?" Oh how worried you looked. Why did you have such a scared reaction to the word? Every time you make a new reaction I realize how little I know about your past... but I also realize how much I want to learn about it_

_But I don't have the time._

_"Yes he will have to have a very serious eye surgery."_

_Your silence... your concentration as you thought about what it meant. Your intelligence is so clear to me._

_"Will it hurt him?" was what you finally asked me after that minute of thought. I just wanted to pull you into a hug. I still do as I write this. There is no one in this broken world I'd rather be with than you. You make me feel a little bit more normal._

_I couldn't lie to you. As scared as you were I had to teach you, I had to make sure you would grow up properly and I had to give you lessons; all the wisdom I have before it's gone._

_"Yes, it will hurt him. But sometimes we have to hurt the people we love to make everything better." I ran my fingers over the split in Hambo's face and I saw how you winced as though it hurt you to see me touch his wound. "Even if they don't understand why we hurt them..."_

_"So we will hurt him... to make him all better? He'll forgive us?"_

_"If he really loves you, he will forgive you for whatever you do to him."_

_Marceline. I try so hard to teach you about what was right and wrong. Where the line is and when you should cross it. I knew I would be mean to you, I was already losing myself to it and I had already lost someone who was so close to me._

_But I don't want to lose you to this._

_"When will we find the tools for his surgery?"_

_"I don't know. But we can keep an eye out for it." I ruffled your hair and you smiled at me. You look so much lovelier with a smile on your face._

_Oh lord, I don't want to lose you to this._

_Love, Simon Petrikov._


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Marceline,

You've been so happy lately. You know I love seeing a smile on your adorable little face. I'm so glad that even now you can find reason to smile.

I picked up a couple presents for you today. I found them while I was looking for food and stuck them in my bag so you wouldn't see. I thought I could make it a celebration tomorrow, of us knowing each other for a month. I want these gifts to make you even happier.

It would be nice if they could do the same for me.

No matter how much it pleases me to see you with a grin on your face it can't keep me happy. Oh how I dread the coming weeks. Months... I know one day we won't be together anymore and it pains me. I'll lose you the same way I lost my lovely fiancée.

You ask me all the time: "Why do you carry around a crown?"

I don't think you notice how I try to avoid the question. I always brush it off by just saying that it's just really important to me. I'm not lying. It is important. Not like you are, not one bit... but I will never be able to live without it.

I don't tell you the whole truth because I know you won't understand. And if you did understand I'm scared it would upset you and I wouldn't see that smile of yours anymore. That would kill me.

But you listen to me. Even as I start to think that maybe you shouldn't.

I'm thinking, seeing you now... curled up by that small fire in a pile of clothing. Maybe I should find us a place to stay. You'd be able to stay there even when I'm gone. I could make sure you're happy and safe when I'm not there.

We'll stay here for the celebration tomorrow, but after that we'll journey together one last time and then we can settle down together for good. We can be a family.

I'll finally be able to have a family.

I still don't know much about you. I'm most curious about how you age! I never would have even believed a thing like you could exist before I found this cursed thing. But now I'm willing to believe a whole new world of things exist.

You act so much older than you look and I'm willing to believe that you are. How long have you looked as young as you do? Will you ever age? Will we be able to stay together for eternity? I can't wait to watch you grow into a beautiful young woman.

I guess one good thing came out of me finding this crown. I got the chance to meet and stay with you.

Love, Simon Petrikov.

* * *

**I apologize for these being short. Maybe they aren't the best thing I ever wrote but I'm surprisingly happy with them. I hope they get better. Some will be longer some will be shorter. I'm assuming they will generally be around 500 words. There will probably be about a dozen of them, maybe more. I want to tell their story a different way... even if it's not original. But I do hope you enjoy these little nuggets for what they're worth. And I hope one line in one of them will bring up those hidden feels and make you cry. ;3**

**-With Love,**  
**CA**


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Marcy,

You are so strong.

I saw the meteor and was frightened more than I ever have been in my life. For some reason it brought back the memories of the green mushroom cloud that destroyed the world; but the Lich didn't scare me, his stupid bomb didn't scare me. But I didn't have to watch as it slowly made it's decent to the surface. Towards you and me and the happy little world we are making together.

"Why do you look so scared?" you asked me.

"Because that big thing in the sky is headed towards us. Doesn't it scare you too?"

You put on that contemplative look again. I've never seen someone so young look so old.

"Maybe a little. But spending time with you I don't think I could be scared of dying. You already saved me once."

How I wish you hadn't said that. I don't think I could do it again. I don't even really believe that I did it in the first place. I wasn't scared for myself; I was only scared for you. Only because of you was I scared. How was I supposed to save you?

But maybe I don't have to worry about it right now.

The mood for our celebration may have been ruined, but it got me motivated enough to get on. I am going to find us a place we can call home for whatever remains of our lives. Of this wonderful time that we got to spend together.

I'm sorry that you have to wait a while longer before I give you your present. I'm glad you don't mind walking as much as we do every day. You don't complain. You just stay silent and clutch Hambo to your chest and smile.

That smile makes me want to continue forward. Even when it's hard and I want to stop just looking at you I know I can continue for a while longer.

That smile of yours. I'm hoping I'll never forget it. I'm slowly losing my mind to this crown, Marcy (I'm so glad you let me call you this. I really feel like it makes us closer).

It makes me feel so old.

But how old am I?

I don't recall.

-Simon.


End file.
